i have two 12″ pizzas sitting in my oven, and even though they smell good and I’ve just used a recipe that the people who make the actual yeast insist works with a) their yeast and b) my food processor, I have to admit, I’m a little scared to try it.
I don’t have fantastic luck with cooking. I’m getting better with practice, and to Mike’s credit he has choked down a lot of mediocre meals, but I’ve always been kind of afraid of anything that requires yeast, kneading, and rising. Because let’s face it, there’s not much worse than gross pizza. Doughy, cardboardy, bland, floury - you name it, it sucks. Cheese and sauce and redeem many a dish, but not when the base tastes like the bottom of a shoe.
The truly crazy thing is that there is a fabulous pizza place around the corner from our house. You can get a 14″ pizza with unlimited toppings for around ten bucks. They’ll have it ready in five minutes. I just promised Mike that if my homemade version sucks, I’ll buy one from this place to redeem myself.
Why bother making it, then? Well, partly because a couple of weeks ago, I bought a deluxe machine - a Kitchen Aid food processor. It’s fast, it’s red, it slices and dices. It grates, as long as you aren’t a dumbass and cut the pieces too small (not that I know anyone who’d do that….). And it makes bread. I have been dying to try the plastic dough blade since I bought this thing, and tonight is the moment of truth.
God help us if between Kitchen Aid and Fleischmann’s, I”ve just made two-cheese vegetarian cardboard.