I’m experiencing a level of frustration right now that is out of all proportion to the problem at hand. So I”ll completely understand if you feel, after reading this, that I should change the title of this blog to “All About Minutiae” (for the record, I had to look up how to spell “minutiae”. I was convinced there was no second ‘i’. I was wrong).
The problem is this: I cannot find reasonable bedding anywhere. I don’t mean reasonably priced, because thanks to Martha Stewart and her assorted compatriates there is plenty of “designy” type stuff to be had on the cheap (I can thank Lynda Reeves and her quasi-lisp for my dishes). I mean, I can’t find anything that doesn’t look like a flower garden threw up on it, or like it graced the bed of Don Johnson during the eighties, or like something my grandma had in her guest room, back when she had a guest room.
All I want is a nice duvet cover. Is that so much to ask? One that goes with my kind of retro-funky sheets, and my plain green sheets, and the paint color on the walls. One that doesn’t show dirt and can withstand the daily rigors of providing sleep surface to two Dalmatians, one of whom has dew-claws so sharp, it’s like she has two little scalpels on her front feet.
Apparently, this is so much to ask. I have looked high and low for something we can slip our quilt into without hating for a long time. I’m now at that critical stage, where our current duvet cover has so many holes (dew claws) you can actually reach in through the top to pull the quilt up from the bottom. I got it all bunched up in there the other day, and just reched my hand through the gaping hole at the top to straighten everything out. Viola! While this makes the actual duvet insertion process easier, it does not look good, nor does it keep my duvet from filling with holes or getting covered with pawmarks.
I’ve thought about making a duvet cover. But where do you get king-sized fabric? And why is fabric so lame these days? I used to sew all the time, I even worked in a fabric store, and fabric used to be way funkier than it is now. There was always some fabulous print or amazing color tucked away somewhere, just waiting for you to transform it into what would otherwise be a humdrum garment. The last time I dared to go to Fabricland, everything was floral. All floral, all the time!
What’s that, you say? IKEA? Yeah, normally. The last two duvet covers came from there. They were great – good prints, good colors, they lasted just long enough for us to get our $60 worth. But lately I haven’t been too impressed with them, either. The colors aren’t right. The prints are odd. I don’t like neon green enough. They’re going through this weird Danish Country phase that I’m not down with. At all.
So my search continues. Thus far, eBay has been a bust, my local Linens ‘n’ Things a little too matronly for my tastes. Jysk made me want to shoot myself. But I’m not losing hope. Not yet. There has to be something.
Somewhere.