I’ve been trying to get back into a workout groove, because I’ve fallen off the wagon a little bit lately – I still go, but not with the same intensity and gusto that I have been, and I’m a little freaked out by the thought that maybe this is the beginning of Slacking Off, and that I’ll never lose those last five or ten pounds (it varies by the week).
Tonight I decided to try an interval workout, instead of my usual 5K on the treadmill. I was at the mall this afternoon and I bought a copy of Shape magazine (which, by the way, I thought was SELF magazine when I bought it, and was heartily disappointed in my purchase when I realized my mistake). I stopped buying these magazines a while ago because the models are all so horribly skinny, and I think it’s pretty fair to say that I could do the RandomHillExtremeMarathon workout seven days a week and still never look like they do. But today I wanted some brain candy and decided to indulge, and they had this set of workouts that all burned more than 500 calories. So I put on my new running skirt (gift certificate, yay!) and my new shoes (a necessity rather than a luxury, because my other ones wore out), and off I went, aiming for 52 minutes of calorie-burning glory.
OKAY. It was bullshit. Either they use a magic treadmill for skinny people, or my gym uses a fake calorie counter on theirs, because at the end of my glorious 52 minutes I was 75 calories short. Slacking, you say? Uh uh. I had to crank up the incline to higher than the highest suggested percentage, and up the speed of my running intervals just to stay on track (also, ahem, the actual speeds and incline they suggested were too easy anyway. Go me!). It wasn’t my math, because according to their calculator, this 500 calories in 52 minutes was based on what a 145 pound woman would burn. And I am about to admit on the Internet that, to my displeasure (I am trying to deal), that is not far off what I weigh.
Anyway, I wasn’t about to shortchanged because of their shitty math, so I stayed on the machine until it said 500. I figure I’m covered either way, but I’m unhappy about the false advertising. No wonder those stupid workout plans never actually work. And no wonder I stopped buying their ridiculous magazine with the stick-insect models.
Jeers to you, Shape.
I am just gobsmacked that you can do 52 minutes on the treadmill. You truly ARE a workout goddess.
And 145 pounds? Yeah, I remember junior high school.
set realistic and achievable goals and you’ll do it. those magazines are rubbish, actually they are simply bundled fecal matter.
it should come as no surprise that a magazine paid for by adverts of clothing and diet companies suggests something that is unattainable – they make more money.
you’re doing fine, keep up the good work – be more concerned about going and exercising regularly than the calorie count. now if i could just get time to work on my own fat ass!