Her theory, when faced with the inability to write, was that she could read her way out of it. She started out with the intention of reading 275 novels (I know!), but admits she had to pare it down because she’s “a slow reader.” (I cannot tell you how relieved I felt when I read that. Truly.) She read all kinds of books, from The Decameron, which is often called the first novel, to works by modern writers. She wasn’t trying to make a list of the best – it was just a list of books she’d read.

I’ve been finding this book quite inspirational in ways I wasn’t expecting. I often feel like I’m not as well-read as I should or could be, and I know I’m not alone in this. How can you read everything? Impossible. I’m also afraid, sometimes, of not liking something I’m reading. I found it refreshing to discover that Jane Smiley doesn’t like everything she reads, either, and that sometimes sticking with something you don’t like has its own rewards in the end, the same way bailing on A Christmas Carol after 50 pages might bring its own sweet relief (followed rapidly by guilt. Oh, the guilt.).

The book contains Smiley’s own list of 100, and there are some great books on there. I was pleasantly surprised to discover I’d read more than a few of them, and that some were even favorites of mine. There were a few I’d not encountered, and others I’d heard of but never read. They now have a place on my ever-expanding reading list.

Since it’s the start of a new year, I figured there was no better time to tackle another self-improvement project. So I’m going to start reading my own 100. And I’m going to write about them here. I’m no book critic, and I’m no English Lit major, so I’m hoping I don’t sound completely clueless when I document my impressions for the whole internet to see. All I want is to cross a few books off my list, and maybe discover a few new favorites along the way. I’m not going to read the list from the book, but there will likely be a few similarities here and there. And I’m not going to stick to “classics”. It’s good enough for me that it be a novel. If you have any suggestions for me, feel free to post them here.

So here goes! Page one…

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Really, in the grand scheme of things going on in the world (like, say, starvation, oppression, genocide), not getting paid for the digital or online rights to your work seems fairly insignificant, but it’s a battle professional writers face all the time. And as anyone who uses the Internet more than once a week knows, it may be a relatively new medium, but there’s a ton of money to be made there. In fact, if you think it isn’t being made right now, you’re fooling yourself (are you listening, Big Studios? Are you?) Let’s hope the producers and other big-wigs who bring us our daily doses of film and television recognize that without the people who write the words, dream up the stories and punch up the punchlines, our living rooms and theaters would be full of static (or the next-most-horrifying thing: endless hours of reality programming).

Here’s hoping the scribes get a fair shake this time around, becuase I, for one, will not watch a reality show called Eye Swap.

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The Art of Dramatic Writing, by Lajos Egri. I keep running across references to this as a great book for anyone who writes fiction, plays, or screenplays. Since I’ve abandoned plays for something with more narrative (read: room to ramble), I thought I’d give it a try. It is, according to some, the bible on character motivation. So we shall see what happens to both my motivation and that of my characters.

Grammatically Correct: The Writer’s Guide to Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, and Usage, by Anne Stillman. So now, when someone asked, “But is that grammatically correct?” I can pull out yet another book and tell them ‘yes’ or ‘no’. I mean, when I’m not sure. It’s like having a safety net, so I can walk the tightrope in the Smart Olympics and not get booed out of the center ring. (How many metaphors were there in that sentence? Four? Whoa. I should ease up on the diet Pepsi.)

Nobody Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog, by Margaret Mason. Lucky for you! Thanks to this book, I should never have to begin a post with “I can’t believe how long it’s been since I wrote in here…” again. Phew! And they’ll all be riveting! Really! Well. Maybe not all of them. A hundred, for sure.

I’d better get reading. And doing my Hundreds.

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2. Trying to run off the five pounds of cheese and cider currently clinging to my body. I think it’s working, but only time and kilometres will tell.

3. Trying to find new and exciting work, even in spite of my avoidance of it.

4. Agonizing over the massive holes in the plot of my novel. What happens next? And why did I write the ending before I knew all the bits in the middle? And even though I’m past 100 pages, which I think is pretty exciting (to me, I don’t expect anyone else to do cartwheels), when am I going to have this rush of creativity that will double that? Tomorrow? Next week? In August? I’d love a sign, please.

5. Thinking about booking a hotel in the mountains for two days, even though I just had a vacation but kind of need another one.

6. Experimenting with doggy stew. Not stew made from dogs – they’re still alive and well, and plus, ew – but the idea of taking stewing beef and making dog-friendly, gravy-filled meals with it. So far I’ve made one with turnip, parsnips and carrots (which tastes just like the stew my mom makes) and one with a tomato-based sauce. Both are hits, and I’m going to try the tomato-based sauce with ground beef this time, because I have about eight pounds of it in the freezer. I’ve even managed to secretly trick Ron into eating vegetables in the form of sauce. She still leaves the rice behind, though. All over the house. In nasty little rice-grain dunes that we track into every room. She’s sure showing me.

7. Digging Dexter. Serial killers scare the pants off me, normally, but Michael C. Hall is a fabulous actor, and this show is brilliant. Plus, he only kills bad people, so you’ve kind of gotta root for the guy who’ll take out the guy who just kills people randomly. I could do without the gore, though. My stomach is getting weaker and weaker every year. Pretty soon I’ll have to leave the room when a Band-Aid commercial comes on.

8. Looking for a barbecue. Then buying one. Then wishing it would stop raining so I can wheel the $400 lawn ornament around from the side of the house and actually fire it up. I thought this thing would pay for itself in no time, but we’re going to have to make two $200 meals on it for that to happen this summer. I’d better order the Kobe beef now.

9. Trying to stay off of Facebook. It’s oddly fascinating. I mean, I’m horrified by the thought of putting all my personal information on the internet (there’s a delightfully ironic statement for you, isn’t there?) but I also can’t look away. So far I’ve caught up with two old friends from high school that I haven’t seen in ages. Now I’m just waiting for the Minority-Report-type targeted advertising to start landing in my inbox.

10. Contemplating the idea of starting a niche blog, and then rejecting the concept because, let’s face it, I’m not enough of an expert on any one subject that I could write about it three times a week or more. I could write about writing, sure, but it’s not like I’m Stephen King or David Ogilvy. I love food blogs, but I’m not going to start one, because it’d have to be about what a crappy cook I am. Crappycook.com isn’t going to get many hits. Maybe I could write about Why You’re Better Than Me. What about Books I Should Have Read Five Years Ago….?

To hell with it. I think I’ll stick with being a generalist. It’s paid off so far.

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I also check out Knitting Kninja on a regular basis. I’m a remedial knitter at best, and was forced to retire my needles due to intense embarrassment at my lack of ability, but I love that the Kninja, Kristen, has such a passion for the topic. She makes some gorgeous, gorgeous things. I also happen to know that, in addition to being a stealth knitting force, she’s a fabulous writer.

Moving on to people I don’t remotely know, I’m going to admit to some blog envy for MightyGirl and her shopping blog, MightyGoods. I have found many a mighty good on that site, indeed, including Superhero necklaces, one of which I’m so totally going to have to buy one day, because they’re beautiful. Also, Mighty Girl Maggie Mason has written a book called No One Cares What You Had for Lunch, which I may have to make part of my blogging toolkit. Because obviously I can’t come up with ideas for entries on my own (see title, above).

Also, every now and then, after I fill up on recaps from Television Without Pity, I cruise on over to Pamie.com. And then I laugh, and laugh.

I think I just realized why my dishes never get done.

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Miscellaneous Item #1

Today has been a marathon. I got up at six, managed the commute across the hall by 6:15, and have been going ever since. I stopped work at 2 o’clock, but know there’s a giant pile waiting for me on Monday, a deadline on Wednesday, and a couple of people breathing down my neck. I don’t like neck-breathers. I also don’t understand why a communications person can work for a company and not know how to spell said company’s name. Is it an intercap, or two distinct words? I care about this, because if I get it wrong they will apply the principles of Seagull Management, and shit all over me.

Miscellaneous Item #2

I took off at 2 o’clock to go to Costco with my mum. I don’t really like Costco, but I do like going places with my mum, and that doesn’t happen very often anymore. I don’t mind driving across town and picking her up, and apparently she doesn’t mind me sponging off her Costco membership.
Costco has the giantest, cheapest bags of frozen vegetables anywhere. I bought 3 kg of peas for $7.00. Why would anyone want that many peas? Peas are good for your liver, my friends. Especially if you’re a small brown dog who needs all the liver she can get. I somehow came out of there will all kinds of stuff I never intended on buying. I stopped just short of the Beefarino.

Miscellaneous Item #3

The Conroy/Iginla double-whammy is apparently working. They just scored two goals. The crowd goes wild, and Len starts to freak out. She hates the sound of hockey on the television. HATES IT. She has spent many a Stanley Cup Playoff trying to climb on to my chair and sit in my lap. She shivers. She whines. If you let her outside, she will not come back in. Clearly Conroy has no idea the amount of stress his presence is going to cause one small dog.

And clearly he doesn’t care, because they just scored again.

Miscellaneous Item #4

I’m enjoying this season of 24 much more than I ever wanted to admit. Last season, I spent a lot of time mocking it. I mean, a lot. The dialogue is terrible – especially those scenes with Jean Smart. But now I’m getting into the cliches. And seriously, casting Shaun Majumder as a terrorist was a stroke of brilliance. I fully expected his picture to pop up in the CTU databanks and Chloe to look at Buchanan and say “We’ve got a hit. His name is Raj Binder.”

Also? Jack interrogating his brother Graham (or whatever his weaselly little name is) was priceless. I can just imagne them at, say, ten and eight, and Graham has put a scratch on Jack’s new bike. So Jack gets out the pliers….

I am kind of disappointed that I haven’t heard him say “I’ll be there in ten minutes” OR “Put me on speaker phone” yet. I’m also disappointed that they didn’t stunt-cast Donald Sutherland as Jack’s dad.

Miscellaneous Item #5

I joined the Professional Writers Association of Canada today, so I”ll be unable to compete in the Writing Olympics as I’d hoped.

They seem like a good organization. I’ve had dismal luck with writing organizations in the past, and even with in-person writing groups. But the meeting I attended last week seemed full of really interesting, professional people (okay, I AM friends with two of them) who joined because they want a real dialogue with other people in the profession, and to advance their careers. This is a new thing for me. I’m looking forward to it.

I’m not down with their acronym, though. PWAC. Say it out loud. That’s right. Pee-whack. There was many a joke about us being a bunch of pee-whackers.

And that, my friends, is enough miscellany for one day.

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Now this is the kind of writing I’m starting to like. I’m discovering that I really enjoy meeting these people, sitting down with my digital recorder in a noisy coffeeshop or a quiet living room, and hearing about what makes them tick. It’s, well, interesting.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s a small assignment, sure. Little profiles aren’t the most exciting thing to write. I’m not likely to win a Pulitzer for any of them. It’s possible that most people won’t even see them. But that’s okay, because every one of these people has been fascinating. (And no, I’m not just saying that in case one of them is reading this – also highly unlikely. I truly mean it.)

I’m still working on it. Right now, as a matter of fact, I should be carefully crafting profiles five and six, for May and June of 2007. I am instead stuck on three and four. I can’t explain why I’m stuck, except that maybe I’m tired, and my brain keeps jumping ahead to All the Stuff I Have To Do Tomorrow, including some SEO copywriting.

For the uninitiated, when you think about writing Web copy for search engine optimization (SEO), think about that episode of Seinfeld, “The Opposite.” You know, when George does the opposite of every impulse he has, and he’s up, Elaine’s down, and Jerry’s even-steven. SEO copywriting would be The Opposite of fun writing, the same way chicken is the opposite of tuna. Now, maybe someone somewhere finds it fun, or a challenge, or kind of like a word game. I’m not that person. To do it properly, I have to pretend I’m dead inside lest I actually become dead inside.

It puts food in the fridge, though, so I can’t argue with that. And I guess it could be worse. I could be cleaning out stables, or sitting outside in the cold somewhere, or even working retail during the Christmas season.

Still, I guess I should be enjoying this fun stuff, and actually getting it done. Logic would tell me I could then get the SEO done faster, and maybe another fun assignment will land in my lap.

And then, my friends, I will be even-steven.

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I’m actually getting excited about it – I hope the excitement holds, because I need a little writerly excitement to spice up my days. Something truly creative. We’ll see how it goes.

I’ll keep you updated here – maybe if I’m accountable to the 1.5 people who read this, I’ll actually finish!

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